For a second, I was thrown off guard. I was driving to his place—which, in Los Angeles traffic, feels like the other end of the world. Normally I would make this commute begrudgingly, thinking of all the reasons we should be in my area of the city. And yet, that wasn’t the case. Music was blaring out the open windows and my hands oscillated between a steady dance to each song’s beat and a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. And then it hit me. I’m excited to see this person.
Immediately I checked myself. It was the first time in a long time I felt this way about a person. Sure, I’ve liked people before, even to the point of immersing myself into their worlds. But as corny as it sounds, this time I felt like there were electric currents running through my body.
Since then, I’ve had one recurring thought: “I don’t want this feeling to end.” Every time I catch myself turning this notion over and over, I try to balance it out. I remind myself I’m still in the early stages, and that this is what they call the “honeymoon period” Eventually, I started to wonder: is it possible that the honeymoon period can last forever?
Cynics (and realists) will probably tell me no. While I’m a self-proclaimed romantic, I’ve always recognized that the earlier moments of a relationship—or any new chapter—is it exactly as it sounds: temporary. But now, I’m beginning to think otherwise.
“How you love is an active choice.”
Hear me out. I know that relationships, whether they’re with your significant other, your closest friends, your family, or even your work wife, will always change. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus so aptly put it, “The only constant in life is change.” Honeymoon phase or not, what your relationship looked like on day one will be vastly different on day umpteen. With that in mind, let’s carry on.
There’s something about those early stages in a relationship that many fondly reminisce over in later days. Some attribute it to the fact that everyone’s on their “best behavior” at the beginning, whatever that means. It could be the novelty of a budding romance, the excitement of experiencing a new thing. But as time moves on, what once felt fresh and new eventually becomes known, and the line that divides the honeymoon period quietly melts into the rest of your relationship. This is the part I always want to skip.
The early stage giddiness is great, but the idea of being known is what makes me so fascinated by relationships and what makes me so excited to be in one. Perhaps that is what extends the “honeymoon phase” beyond its shelf life.
Love is a choice. How you love is an active choice — which means that sweet honeymoon life will last as long as you let it. It might take a little more work than you’d expect sometimes, whether that means working to keep the flame alive in your long term relationship or discovering more about your partner as if you were starting from the beginning. Of course, that’s all up to you.
So, to answer my question: yeah, it’s possible that the honeymoon period can last forever, if that’s what you want. I think it can.