My phone lit up: “Quarantine and chill?” Just below it was another text from my best friend proclaiming all this alone time was making her libido sky-rocket. Another male friend who has been chronically single for years told me he hadn’t realized how lonely he was until now. What strange times we live in as a global pandemic washes over our countries. We find now more than ever we’re a society craving normalcy. and what’s more normal than wanting proximity to someone else, even in times of government-enforced quarantine? While I don’t suggest hopping on the subway to make your way to a suitor’s home for a candle-lit meal, I am a proponent of virtual dating in isolation. You may see this whole social distancing thing as a bit of a wrench that’s been tossed in your sex life, but I would like to offer a few alternatives as to why I believe your romantic life should still thrive.
This is where the FaceTime date comes into play. Set the scene by finding the best lighting in your apartment, facing a window or natural light source works wonders. If it’s evening light a few candles for and swathe in an ambient glow. Next, ensure a strong WiFi signal, pour yourself a glass of red wine, and hit the call button. Yes, you are missing out on a few core elements of a good first date like brushing your hand over theirs or those ever-potent pheromones. But there’s never been a better time to engage in intellectual connection with someone and truly get to know them for who they are at their core.
As things get heated, it may be time to bring out the heavy-hitters: enter the sext. An artfully crafted text that insinuates (or straight out claims) your wanting for the receiver will no doubt ramp things up. When it comes to nailing this approach, it’s all about the slow burn. Pace yourself: with all this time on your hands, you don’t want the life cycle of this flirtation to flourish too quickly. Prompt a build up in the ultimate foreplay fashion by initiating and begin to set the scene for your reader. You can do this by alternating between asking questions and returning the insinuations until you come to a rhythmic back and forth. While we may not be able to reach out and touch each other, our other senses may still thrive. Add attachments like a teasing image of your most suggestive isolation ‘fit or a sultry voice note. Keep the convo fueled by requesting the same in return or asking what your partner may want to do to you once they get their hands on you.
“My phone lit up: ‘Quarantine and chill?’”
Finally, we come to la pièce de résistance: phone sex. For some of us, phone sex sounds like an archaic approach to virtual dating that involves one of those long twisting phone chords and a landline, but it doesn’t have to be the stuff of a Sex and the City episode. Get comfortable, find a quiet, private space to take your calls, and settle into your imagination. The most important element of audio-love-making is to have a clear vision of your wants and needs so that you can communicate them without a hitch. Once you and your romantic caller get a steady pace, your climax will unfold before you.
While sex and dating in the time of COVID-19 may feel arbitrary, it’s important to keep your morale up and continue to connect with others. All of the above are safe and healthy ways to do so as long as you are approaching them from a place of empowerment and trust in your partner in sext.