Anyone who has ever had to navigate the challenging, murky waters of infertility knows that uncertainty and loss of control are unpleasant general themes of the process (and it can sometimes feel like an excruciatingly long process). Grappling with physical symptoms and hormonal fallout while maneuvering an entirely new world can be downright harrowing. Having been in the trenches herself, with multiple rounds of IVF, failed pregnancy tests, and miscarriages, surrogacy consultant Marly Steinman wants Los Angeles would-be parents to have a teammate who understands the logistical steps that need to be taken. Most importantly, she understands the deep emotional undercurrents too. Her personal experience combined with her twelve years as a practicing clinical psychologist make her the perfect person to empathize and strategize in the darkest of times.
Steinman and her husband struggled for over four years before welcoming their twins, Jack and Celine, via surrogacy in 2019. She’s the first to admit that it was dark days. While she was undergoing all of the physical and emotional trauma that comes with fertility struggles, she was also working as a marriage and family therapist (yep, listening to other people’s problems all day long — some of them also involving infertility!). When the couple was eventually told that gestational surrogacy would be their best chance of conceiving a healthy child, they had a hard time getting on the same page. “I remember feeling lost and trying to wrap my mind and heart around the idea of surrendering this most important task to someone else,” she says. On top of that, their heads were spinning trying to sort where to start or whom to trust with the myriad of choices and possible directions their fate could go. “While I was able to find my way using my own resources and leaning on my support systems, I realized how little support there is for intended parents once we have left the safe haven of our fertility clinics.”
“I realized how little support there is for intended parents once we have left the safe haven of our fertility clinics.”
On any given day, Steinman can be found guiding individuals and couples through all stages of the surrogacy and/or donor process. From helping them find the right match as a surrogate and/or donor, to building a team of doctors and lawyers, her goal is to facilitate the surrogacy journey every step of the way. With her as an ambassador, intended parents can focus on what truly matters — growing their family. “I work tirelessly to unburden my clients of the anxiety that comes from having questions unanswered or concerns they don’t know how to communicate,” she says. Specifically, clients can count on her for the below.
• Acting as an intermediary: “I believe that preserving the sacred relationship between my clients and their surrogate is done by taking the pressure off having difficult and uncomfortable conversations,” she says. “Eliminating this obstacle allows my clients to focus on creating a bond with their surrogate, which enriches the pregnancy journey and overall birthing experience.”
• Building a team: “I work with lots of amazing fertility doctors, clinics and attorneys, and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without the dedication and expertise of my incredible team,” she says. “My hope for my clients is to help them create a team that allows them to be able to have trust in the process and faith that with the right people behind the wheel, their dreams are possible.”
• Advocating for your family: “I work with agencies to ensure that all of my clients’ questions and concerns are addressed and that all communications are handled between myself and the agency in order to maintain a harmonious relationship between my client and their surrogate,” she says. “My role is to advocate for my clients so that they never have to feel isolated and uncertain and instead feel supported and informed.”
• Offering non-stop professional emotional support: “Ultimately, I will provide much-needed compassion and empathy to help my clients to navigate their journey both emotionally and practically,” she says. “My goal is that each client is left supported and well-informed.”
Whether or not you or someone you know is in need of fertility guidance, intended parents everywhere should feel comfort knowing there is one more person out there who has their best interests at heart.
For more information, visit surrogacybymarly.com.