I know I’m not alone when I say that I’ve struggled with accepting my body the way it is. It’s so easy to compare yourself to others, and despair about the ways you think you’re not good enough. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, not curvy enough; whatever it is that we’re insecure about, it can be tough to overcome. But you know what? It’s not impossible. Case in point: Grace Victory. As a prolific blogger and YouTuber, Grace has used her platform to share her story of recovery from an eating disorder and to explore what it means to live in a society where we’re taught that so much of our worth is tied to our appearance. We got to chat with Grace about her journey, and her self-care, and her best advice for those of us who are striving for body acceptance.
JG
Tell us about your body acceptance journey. When did you begin struggling with body image and eating disorders and what happened that helped you begin to recover?
GV
I have had issues with food for as long as I can remember. Growing up at a performing arts school as well as enduring childhood trauma impacted my sense of self. And let’s not forget diet culture and society’s obsession with being thin! I genuinely believed I wasn’t good enough so over time, I developed unhealthy thoughts and coping mechanisms. It was rough and some days it still is. I started eating disorder treatment in 2016, which in hindsight was just the tip of the iceberg. My eating disorder was a manifestation of trauma. When my eating disorder was healed, there was still a deep dark sea of other stuff that I didn’t even realise was within me.
JG
What does your relationship with your body look like today?
GV
I’m still on a journey, not with food anymore, but with myself. Unlearning, re-programming and developing self-soothing tools takes time. I would be lying if I said it’s easy. It isn’t. It’s really hard. I’ve had to face so many demons head on, one of them being my body: what it looks like and what it doesn’t look like. Some days I love it, some days I dislike it, some days I feel nothing. My feelings towards every part of me ebb and flow and I am learning to make peace with that. I am learning what well-being looks like for me, and it is so much more than just the physical. It’s how I think of myself and others, it’s what I read, watch and digest from the media. It is my sexuality, how I’m responding to my projections and triggers, and how well I’m sleeping. If my experiences have taught me anything it’s that I am more than my body and that the opinions of others can only penetrate me if I let them. And I won’t let them.
JG
What have you changed or implemented in your life that has helped improve your relationship with your body the most?
GV
I stopped dieting. I stopped listening to my unkind thoughts. I challenged my own bias about bodies. I went to therapy. I started to do more and more things that gave me joy. And I started to have fun with wellness instead of using it to dictate my worth. I also searched for the meaning of existence and began really developing my spirituality and philosophical beliefs. When you fill your life with things that uplift you, you don’t tend to have time to hate on yourself.
JG
What does self-care mean to you in relation to body acceptance, and what does self-care look like in your life?
GV
Self care is multidimensional and self-defined. It is how we nurture and parent ourselves day to day. For me personally, looking after myself is about creating stillness, nourishment, and contentment within my mind, body, and soul. Some days that means getting up early, meditating, exercising, and drinking my smoothies. Other days that means a lie in, avocado on toast with chili oil and eggs, and spending the entire day in my pjs. When you look after yourself in a wholesome way, you start to appreciate your body for looking after you and keeping you safe, not for what it looks like. I also adore skincare and body care, so smothering myself in a bougie body oil makes me feel sexy as fuck!